Is it important to talk to my kids about alcohol and drug use before they are even exposed to it?
In a recent survey, 1 in 3 fifth and sixth graders (ages 10-11) said that alcohol was available and easy to get. Approximately 10% of 9-10 year olds have started drinking and one in three begin drinking before age 13. By age 15, approximately 50% have had at least one drink, so it’s never too early to start the conversation. Parents play a key role in providing information about alcohol and drugs, and research shows that kids who learn a lot about the risks of alcohol and drugs from their parents are up to 50% less likely to use. Parents influence whether and when adolescents begin drinking as well as how their children drink. Family policies about adolescent drinking in the home and the way parents themselves drink are important.
(National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence)
How do I parent for prevention?
Shifting focus to match your priorities is key. Start with the end in mind. What values do you want to pass down to your children? What qualities are important for success as an adult? The answers to these questions should guide your daily interactions. Teach your child that he or she is important, capable, and has something to contribute to the world.
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Be there. Support your child’s talents and hobbies. Actively participate in school events and make homework a priority. Know what your child is doing – their activities and how they spent their time.
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Be available. Start “The Talk” early and talk often. Ask questions and really listen to the answers. Know your child’s friends and their parents. Youth that have friends who are drug free are more likely to be drug free as well.
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Be a parent. Set household rules and reasonable consequences before problems arise. Be consistent in enforcing the rules. Youth need limits and set boundaries. Encourage goal setting. Discuss how drugs would impact goals and future success. Encourage exercise and proper nutrition.
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Be knowledgeable. Know that no one is immune from the dangers of drugs. Accidents and overdose can happen any time. Talk about your expectations and the dangers of drugs.
What if I think my child is using drugs?
Don’t panic. Gather evidence. Get information. Find resources and support. Plan and practice what you will say to your teen. Write it down if necessary. Ask questions that require more than a simple yes or no answer. Avoid harsh or judging words. Find a good time to talk without distractions. Remind your child that you love him or her and you are concerned and afraid for safety. Understand that anger, frustration and resistance are temporary and natural for adolescents in this situation. Most importantly: keep calm and keep the lines of communication open.
My ex-husband was an alcoholic; should I be concerned about my kids?
When there is addiction in the family, everyone is affected, and it is important to understand how each family member may be coping with unhealthy family behaviors. In addition, children of alcohol- or drug-addicted parents are in the highest risk group of all children to become alcohol or drug abusers themselves, due to both genetic and family environment factors. It's important to become educated on addiction and codependency, and to talk with children honestly about the dangers of alcohol and drugs and their own risk factors.
(National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence)
Is addiction inherited?
Significant research strongly suggests a genetic component to addiction. Individuals whose parents and/or siblings have struggled with a substance use disorder are at increased risk for having a similar problem. This research is supported by studies involving identical twins and adopted children.
However, this research does not indicate that there is an absolute correlation between having addicted family members and becoming addicted oneself. Genetics appear to increase or decrease a person’s risk of developing an addiction. The development of an addiction can also be influenced by a variety of environmental factors.
(Addiction Recovery Choice)
Why do some people become addicted, while others don't?
We don’t fully understand why this is so. We know that genes play a part, because an inclination for addiction can run in families. We also know that a person’s environment plays a part in addiction. For example, what are the factors that encourage someone who has tried a drug to keep on taking it to the point where they can’t stop? Scientists are trying to untangle the answers so that we can find better ways to prevent and treat addiction.
(National Institute on Drug Abuse)
My daughter only drinks beer – she doesn't drink every day and says she's not an alcoholic. Is she right?
Alcoholism is not defined by what you drink, when you drink it or even how much you drink. Whether a person drinks every day or only on weekends, drinks shots of liquor or just drinks beer or wine, what matters most is what happens when they drink. If her drinking is causing problems at home, at work, physically, financially, emotionally or legally, it is time to get help.
(National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence)
I think my 19-year-old-son has a drug problem, but I think he'll grow out of it. Am I right?
Plain and simple: if you are concerned, now is the time to seek help. It might help to attend meetings of Al-Anon or Nar-Anon, or open meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous. You can learn a great deal about your family situation from hearing the experiences of others who are dealing with similar concerns. You can also learn a great deal about alcoholism and drug addiction from hearing people talking honestly about their addiction and recoveries.
(National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence)
